Aces for Argentina

Showing fluid, attacking style of play Argentina (or should I say "the new Brazil," a nomiker which will surely make Maradona chuckle and Pele grimace - more on that later) dismantled a hapless South Korea 4-1 on Thursday with Gonzalo Higuain on a hat-trick.

The Argentines had a lucky break to start when Park Chu-Young turned the ball into his own net off of a dangerous dead ball play by Messi. It then became the Higuain and Messi show with the two combining in a sort of sublime Thelma and Louise act robbing the Koreans of possession at every turn and converting on most of those chances.

Higuain added another in the 33rd minute, only to have Lee Chung - Yong claw one back for the Koreans in the dying minutes of the first half. But the enterprising Argentine duo finally put the match away with two goals in quick succession, though, for a neutral observer, the game was never in dispute. Argentina's class was simply too much.

Higuain's profligacy in front of goal heralded the arrival of free flowing Albiceleste football in South Africa. With Jonas Gutierrez and Gabriel Heinze's marauding runs forward and Angel di Maria's control of the midfield, Argentina finally fulfilled the promise of its potential.

Higuain's efforts in front of goal also gave the Real Madrid striker his fifth international goal in seven caps and the first hat trick in the World Cup since Pauleta put in three for Portugal against Poland in 2002. In the poaching, opportunistic vein of great strikers before him (e.g. Mueller, Ronaldo, et al) Higauin has staked in claim to this tournament's golden boot.

Henry's Handball Heresy

If you haven't been living under a rock lately, you've come to know at least two things about football: 1) France will be going to South Africa; and 2) Thierry Henry's handball is what got them there.

This does not sit well with their Irish opponents, who have filed an official complaint with FIFA and are requesting a replay. The French FA has already rejected their appeal, so now it is up to FIFA to decide if a replay is warranted and/or possible. If Giovanni Trapattoni's opinion is taken as any indication, then the chances of FIFA reacting favorably to the Irish request are comparable to Nani's chances of being at Old Trafford beyond the end of the season in light of his recent criticism of SAF (a.k.a. slim to none).

As for the other issue (e.g. if Henry's reputation will suffer as a result of his handball), we'd like to think not. There are reports that some French are embarrassed about the means of their qualification, but was there any Argentinian blushing when one Diego Maradona fisted the ball into the net in the 1986 World Cup? Should the French go out and rub it in the faces of their Irish bretheren? Absolutely not. Should they cower in apology? No. Rather they should thank their lucky stars and remain humble. Refereeing mistakes happen, move on.

There is also a significant amount of criticism centered on the fact that Henry did not cop to the handball immediately and turn himself into the ref. That criticism makes as much sense as Sarah Palin's train of thought. Players are taught from a young age to play to the whistle. There was no whistle. Seriously, have you ever seen any player who was obviously off-sides or who blantantly committed a foul in the box before slotting home a winning goal stop, turn to the ref, and confess his sins so that his goal could be disallowed?? No. And you never will. Holding Henry to a standard that does not exist is absolutely ridiculous and reflects rage rather than reason.

Finally, this event should force FIFA to institute video replay, for if anyone is at fault here it is FIFA. Avoidable misfortunes like these should be avoided and will be if cameras are posted around the goal.

Update: Maradona meets reason?

In other news, pigs were spotted flying the friendly skies....

In a logical, if desparate, move ahead of the next round of World Cup qualifying, Maradona has dropped seven players (Gago, Zanetti, Datolo, Burdisso, Maxi Rodriguez, Lissandro Lopez, and Pablo Carrizo) from his squad, in addition to recalling Pablo Aimar.

In other notable news, our open letter to Diego obvi did the trick, as Gonzalo Higuain is set to lose his national team virginity against Peru on October 10th.

See, Diego, it wasn't that hard! We're sure giving up carbs at an Italian fat farm will be much more difficult. Good luck and God speed in that endeavor...

P [dot] S Manuel, if you're reading this, you too could reap the benefits of installing Higuain in your starting eleven. We won't even say we told you so, promise!

A Letter to Mr. Maradona

Referencing our earlier discussion of Maradona's managerial mishaps, we have decided to publish this open letter to him in hopes on behalf of all Albicelestes fans....

Dear Mr. Maradona, aka HRH Our Undisputed National Football Treasure:

Since we realize you might be familiar with the 12 step program and seeing that the national team is currently need of a similiar level of rehabilitation, we are presenting you with a list of suggestions (otherwise known as demands) to help our beloved Albicelestes qualify for South Africa. Wanna know the best part? Our rehab scheme has only one-third (that is less than half in case you didn't know) as many steps as the aforementioned program...so here it goes:

1. Swallow considerable pride (hey, we never said it would be painless...)
2. Call up Higuain already, and while your at it allow Milito to pry his rear end from the bench
3. More generally, abandon your mad plot to vindicate your vertically challenged brehtern (looking at you Tevez) and to validate your elderly squad selections (Veron? Heinze? Really Diego?)
4. We know it's a sensitive topic, but did we mention the height thing?

XOXO,

Your Adoring, Worshipful Public

“If I only had a brain…”: Examples of why football would benefit from more women's input

Currently wishing he could return to his playing days.

So the unmitigated disaster that has been Maradona, National Team manager edition, is hard for all to comprehend...except, of course, for all of those who (rationally) somehow foresaw the likelihood of failure...having lost four out of their last five, including a 3-1 home defeat to Brazil, Argentina, under Maradona's tutelage, has now relinquished its automatic qualification spot for next year's World Cup in South Africa.

Based on these managerial results, Argentines now seem to be reassessing their beliefs concerning their national football deity, in a way all the cocaine and the disqualification from WC 1994 for doping never could

To be fair, the god-like status and popular pull of he who scored via "the Hand of God" would be hard for any national federation to resist, but that does not obviate the fact that Maradona was grossly under-qualified as a coach having managed previously only with short (unsuccessful) stints at Manadiyu and Racing Club. Perhaps, instead of just taking lessons from Brazil on the pitch, the federation should've followed their off it as well. What does that mean? Well, Dunga was not the most popular manager, but his side has already qualified for South Africa with time to spare



Maradona, THE PLAYER, has rightfully reached a certain level of mythic proportion, given his service to both country and in raising the overall level of play, but this coaching stint is a losing proposition in the Michael Jordan/Washington Wizards kind of way, aka even worse than say the Michael Jordan/Professional Baseball Blip way (because, at that point, MJ still could come back, play, and win, thereby erasing all memory of previous sport-switching insanity)

So, if Argentina fails *shudder* to qualify for South Africa 2010, it is hard to see how Mr. Maradona's personal popularity wouldn't suffer, for absent lacing up his cleats again and putting the team on his back, he will have failed his country in the most glaring of ways