It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's Attacking Football in Serie A??

Happy once again.

We were pleasantly surprised when watching AC Milan play Parma over the weekend. Not only did the Ronaldinho-Borriello linkage up-front produce two quality goals, but those moments weren't the stellar exceptions to the usual rule of dour, defensive Italian footie.

Usually, we steer clear of Serie A, because, frankly, it depresses us. Between the empty seats in the stands and the laconic pace of action on the pitch, we prefer to devote our precious weekend footie watching hours to La Liga and the EPL, relegating Serie A to highlight viewing (which, let's be honest, doesn't take up that much time anyways).

But this game was different.

Both Milan and Parma fielded quality sides that actually showed their quality. The play was often end-to-end and real chances were created by multiple, forward thinking players, including a rejuvinated Ronaldinho (and, you should know how happy we are about that).

We ended up being even more excited than Leonardo, with his new-found job security, at having witnessed an entertaining top-flight Italian match. In fact, we might actually consider trying it again next weekend...

Madrid's Already Looking For Salvation

He can save us any day.

And it's just October.

In a press conference, after their recent Copa del Rey defeat, Cristiano Ronaldo insisted he wasn't Madrid's "savior."

But here are the facts:

Los Blancos' record with C. Ron: 7-0-0
Los Blancos' record without C. Ron: 1-3-1

And, in those seven games, CR9 scored a total of nine goals. While Madrid, as a team, could only manage a total of seven goals in their last five matches.

If that doesn't put C. Ron somewhere close to the footie god qualification, we're not quite sure what does.

Regardless, after their humiliating 4-0 loss to third division side Alcorcon in the first-leg of their fourth round Copa del Rey match, Madrid is certainly in need of an on-pitch resurrection of some sort.

About that "disastrous" match, Ronaldo went on to say:

"We lost, nobody's happy about this but we have to raise our heads - the world is not going to end because of that. We have to learn our lesson and in the next matches make sure we don't underestimate any teams. We're conscious that we need to play better."

Couldn't have said it better ourselves, Ronnie. And because Guti, Iker, Kaka, et. al only seem to have eyes for you, you're the perfect person to carry the message to the team, that is, until you can actually carry the team again.

P dot S We wonder what Johan Cruyff has to say now.

Huge Debt - Star Players = Unhappy Fans

He looks so happy.

It's simple math really, but somehow the concept still eludes the Anfield owners.

The Americans reportedly have a "Doomsday" scenario, which involves the sale of golden boy Fernando Torres (a.k.a. the only reason that 'Pool is in the top half of the Premier League this year) to Manchester City for 70 million pounds. That fee would then go to paying down some of the 290 MILLION in DEBT the club has incurred under the enlightened stewardship of Gillett and Hicks.

Let us illustrate the significant downside to this plan. First, the sale will cause a disastrous drop in form. Seriously, who's going to replace him up front? Aqualani? And we've seen how much losing just one player can affect on-pitch performances. *cough* Xabi Alonso *cough*

Now, let's really think this move through. Natch, the Reds' good looks quotient will suffer even more (see again: Alonso, Xabi for initial decline). Moreover, if Nando goes to City, he'll be forced to wear that awful powder blue, and, really, we all know that that colour does his complexion no favours. He might even have to lose the highlights to stop himself from being completely washed out. And what is El Nino without frosted tips?

We so object to this move on a multitude of levels.

But money matters. So following in the Reds' glorious footsteps is Valencia, which is seriously considering the sale of Davids Villa and Silva as sacrifices to the financial gods.

What do you think? Do club finances justify the player sacrifice in either case?

Pompey Just Can't Catch A Break...

Poor Paul Hart.

On or off the pitch.

Word is that the FA have banned Portsmouth from registering new players a la Chelsea. When asked about the "embargo," Peter Storrie, Pompey's chief executive, insisted that the it was simply the result of a technicality and would be "sorted out" in a matter of days.

Now, there's a positive: Pompey won't have to wait till 2011 to sign new players like the Blues. But even that becomes a negative, when you realize that that's the only good news the club has received since the season's start.

While it's admirable that Storrie has found some silver lining (seriously, the man is more absurdly optimistic than the delusional few who still think LiLo is capable of getting her act together), it remains to be seen whether players will actually want to sign at Fratton Park. What with their 3 owners in 3 months AND not being able to pay the players' wages AND being bottom of the table and all. You know, those few, inconsequential details....

Just Because...

Greatest of all time?

World Cup Fever has struck us here at Femme-Football. We know it's a little early (there are, in fact, 233 days, 16 hours and 11 minutes, give or take, until kick-off, according to FIFA's official countdown), but fortunately we have found a (temporary) cure for our craving thanks to caughtoffside.com.

Which side would be your best World Cup team of all time? Does Brazil 1970 get the nod?

And the draw goes to....

photo: guardian.co.uk

FIFA's head, Sepp Blatter.

Well definitely not the Republic of Ireland, which have their World Cup hopes pinned on beating France in a two-legged play-off on November 14 and 18. Check out the rest of the draw below....

• Republic of Ireland v. France
• Greece v. Ukraine
• Portugal v. Bosnia - Herzegovina
• Russia v. Slovenia

And the winners are....

Qualification for WC2010 began to draw to a close on Wednesday. With some heartbreak, some happiness (see: Maradona) and not too many surprises. Here's a summary of the results:

In Europe, Denmark, Switzerland, Slovakia join the other group winners with guaranteed bids for WC2010.

Portugal, Greece, Slovenia, Russia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Ukraine, France, and the Republic of Ireland each secured second-place in their respective groups. These eight teams will meet in a two-leg tie on November 14 and 18 to determine which four sides will advance to the Finals.

In CONEMBOL, Argentina's late winner pushed them into fourth place, securing the last automatic qualification spot. Their opponents, Uruguay, must now face CONCACAF's fourth place team, Costa Rica, in a play-off to determine the last team going to South Africa.

Bye, Bye 'Binho

The weather never suited him.

Money can't buy happiness. Or so it seems for Robinho and moneybags City, with the former rumored to be taking leave of the latter in the January transfer window, heeding the call of of Catalan country.

And with that move, it's pretty much a wrap for the Brazilian revolution in the northwest. With Elano gone, Robinho soon to be, and Jo as good as, it is unlikely City will carry out their plan to play in the Brazilian style with actual Brazilians.

Signing Bonanza at the Bridge

A good look.

In an effort to forever endear himself to the Blues' faithful, Salomon Kalou has joined Didier Drogba, John Terry and Ashley Cole in agreeing to a long-term contract extension with the club.

Given that Chelsea have been banned from bringing in new players until January 2011, Kalou's decision to extend his stay at Stanford Bridge until at least 2012 will surely bring a welcome sigh of relief to Abramovich, Ancelotti, et al.

World Cup Qualifying: Recapping and What's to Come

Already Qualified

A grand total of 32 national teams will be competing in South Africa come next summer. Below are those countries who have already qualified.

Hosts: South Africa

Africa: Ghana; Ivory Coast
Totals: 5 qualification spots/2 qualified

Asia: Australia; Japan; North Korea; South Korea
Totals: 4 qualification spots/ 4 qualified

Europe: Denmark, Germany, Great Britain, Italy, Netherlands, Serbia, Spain
Totals: 13 qualification spots/7 qualified

Note: In addition to the 9 group winners, the top 8 runners-up (in this case, the second-place teams from Groups 1-8) will compete in a play-off to determine the 4 sides that will join the top sides in South Africa.

North America: Mexico, USA
Totals: 3-4 qualification spots/2 qualified

Note: The fourth place team from CONCACAF (N. Am.) will meet the fifth-place team from CONMEBOL (S. Am.) to determine which association will get an extra entrant in WC2010.

South America: Brazil, Chile, Paraguay
Totals: 4-5 qualification spots/3 qualified


Wednesday's What to Watch For

Europe: Breaking Down It Down Group by Group....

Group 1: Sweden v. Albania and Portugal v. Malta

Denmark has already qualified, leaving Portugal (on 16 points) and Sweden (on 15 points) to vie for the play-off spot. It should be noted that Portugal will be without their talismanic captain Cristiano Ronaldo, who limped off their 3-0 win over Hungary on Saturday with a recurrence of his ankle injury.

Group 2: Switzerland v. Israel and Greece v. Luxembourg

This is a group where everything is still in play. Switzerland (on 20 points) requires only a tie to assure qualification in the top spot. However, should Switzerland lose to Israel, the Swiss run the risk of slipping into second place, if Greece, 5-2 winners at the weekend, can pull out another win against Luxembourg. Israel (on 15 points) have an outside chance at a play-off spot, should they manage to beat Switzerland, and if Greece (on 17 points) does not get a result on Wednesday.

Group 3: San Marino v. Slovenia and Poland v. Slovakia

Slovakia (on 19 points) is guaranteed of at least a play-off spot, though they can take the group with a win in their game against Poland. Though, should the Polish thwart them, Slovenia (on 17 points) could overtake them at the top of the group, with a win against minnows San Marino.

Group 4: Nada!

Germany (on 25 points) and Russia (on 21 points) have already locked up the first and second spots.

Group 5: Nada again!

Spain (on 27 points) and Bosnia-Herzegovina (on 19 points) have already locked up the first and second spots.

Group 6: Andorra v. Ukraine and Kazakhstan v. Croatia

England (on 24 points) have already earned automatic qualification. Ukraine (on 18 points) is in poll position to take the play-off spot with win against bottom-side Andorra, who have yet to earn a solitary point in any of their previous 9 matches. Should the unthinkable happen (a.k.a. Ukraine failing to capitalize), Croatia (on 17 points) could overtake them and surge to second-place.

Group 7: Nothin' Doin' Here...

Serbia (on 22 points) have won the group; following their win against the Faroe Islands, France (on 18 points) has made it to the play-offs.

Group 8: ...Or Here...

Italy (on 21 points) is top in this group, and the Republic of Ireland (on 17 points) have assured themselves of a place in the play-offs.

Group 9:...Or Here.

Actually, there won't be any games in this group to watch, even if you wanted to! The Netherlands (on 24 points, after 8 rounds) have qualified and none of the other sides in the group accumulated enough points to even qualify them for one of the eight play-off spots.

North America: United States v. Costa Rica

Costa Rica (on 15 points) faces an American side (on 19 points) that is not only leading the groups, but also has just come off a hard-fought 3-2 win against Honduras. Costa Rica will need a win to assure their hold on the last automatic qualification spot, but the US will be keen not to reliquish first place to their arch-rivals Mexico. Breathing down their necks will be Honduras (on 13 points), which will take on El Salvador, hoping a win will allow them to leap-frog Costa Rica into third place.

South America: Uruguay v. Argentina

Argentina (on 25 points, +2 GD) and Uruguay (on 24 points, +9 GD) are in for a battle royal for the last automatic qualification spot. Maradona's side will be buoyed by a famous 2-1 win against Peru, but will face a formidable Uruguayan side that will be betting on its chances on taking advantage of a perennially inconsistent Argentine side.

George: Actually, Tom, sometimes you will walk alone....

Breaking-up is always hard to do

Liverpool is joining Pompey in the game of ownership merry go-round, now that George Gillett is offering up his 50% stake in the Reds to the highest bidder, with signifcant interest being shown by Prince Faisal of Saudi Arabia.


Though Gillett is flying to Riyadh to meet with the prince, 'Pool fans shouldn't consider a Manchester City-esque infusion of Arab cash in the cards just yet, as a few potential snags in the deal remain. Notably, Prince Faisal has said through his spokesman that he should not be seen as "as someone who is going to clean up the balance sheet... [or] as a solution to the debt or problems in the existing relationship between the owners."


Um, that's all well and good, Prince Faisal, but if those problems were already taken care of, then Gillett wouldn't be looking to bolt from the club in the first place! Really, explain to us, what motivation would Gillett have to sell his shares if a) the club weren't saddled with crushing debt it cannot service, and b) Gillett and co-owner Tom Hicks' rapport with one another didn't make a Rush Limbaugh-Nancy Pelosi encounter look tame?!

"If I only had a brain..."

Forever #1...even if only in his own mind

Ever eager to show his off-field brilliance, given its glaring absence in his on-field performances, Karim Benzema reportedly decided to confront his manager about his unhappiness with his striking role at Real.

Chief among Benzema's complaints is the fact that he has been routinely substituted, managing only three full 90-minute appearances this season. Worse, Benzie often lacks a "mobile" strike partner and has to *gasp* adjust his style of play to the Madrid elder statesman, Raul, who usually partners him up front.

In trying to get a better grasp on the situation, we've decided to try and look at things from Karim's vantage point. In the process, we have uncovered his thought process, and it goes a little something like this:

1. Why can't Raul change his game for ME! Oh that's right - it's because he's too old and slow...I need someone quicker, more agile to play with...someone more like ME!
2. Why doesn't anoyone understand this?? Why doesn't anyone care about MY needs??
3. I should play no matter what...I'm Karim freakin' Benzema for chrissakes....I'm like a Ferrari to his Peugeot...or wait, should that be I'm like an Audi? Isn't that the car we're shilling now? Damn it, Karim, stay on message! I'm like an Audi to his Peugeot....
4. Life's not fair...Pellegrini promised me I'd play...He promiseddddddddddd (begins to wail at the injustice of it all)

We would like to point out to Karim that not being able to perform under pressure is common striker problem, and no one is begrudging him an adjustment period, in which he continually shoots blanks. However, people (rightly) do take issue with the fact that he expects to retain his place in the line-up for an entire game, in which he has proven inept and a detriment to his team's chances.

Just a heads up: To even question the manager on a substitution in that context proves that Pellegrini's reluctance to sign you was more than justified.

Benzema, dear, you would do well to take note of the level of professionalism of others in the Los Merengues bunch. Van Nistelrooy, for one, has vowed to stay on and fight for his place in the line-up, no matter how many injuries stand between him and a return, darn it! And we sincerely doubt that either he or Negredo would ever demur from the opportunity to head the Galactico's front-line....even if it is next to Raul.

An American Takeover at Arsenal?

Not quite.....BUT American billionaire Stan Kroenke, real estate guru and husband of Wal-Mart heiress, Anne Walton, has announced that he will increase his stake in the club to 28.7% (just short of the 29.9% level, at which a takeover bid is required). Ostensibly, Kroenke's move is part of an effort to prevent controversial Uzbek businessman Alisher Usmanov from wrestling control of the Gunners away from the current board, headed by Danny Fiszman.

Update: 'Arry Stays!

After previously reported, Redknapp came out this past week to emphatically deny he will be leaving Spurs, much to the relief of everyone at the north London club.

In related news, though Spurs have escaped another iteration of the managerial merry-go-round, Pompey seems not to be so lucky, as they are currently in ownership limbo (you know, the phase prior to demotion hell) with a fresh bid to take over the embattled club from Sulaiman Al-Fahim, who was unable to pay the players wages at the end of last month. No wonder his bid is stalled in due dilligence...poor, poor Pompey (literally!).

"If I only had a brain...."

'Arry's (alleged) bung blunder: Part II

Could the Spurs manager be in even more hot water over his (mis)handling of the Amdy Faye transfer?

The perplexingly high odds (7/4) on the departure of 'Arry from his resurgent Tottenham side are reportedly due to the "extremes" he went to in capturing the signature and services of Amdy Faye, the supposed "next Patrick Viera."

We're always amazed at how quickly footie front office peeps (managers, directors, owners, et al) forget their kindergarden lessons...you know, that whole "play fair with others" bit...when the next so-and-so has them salivating at the bit.