Penalty Prescience

Who knew Cesc was a regular Miss Cleo?

Built in retirement plan: I see a 900 number in your future.

After having a premonition, in which it was revealed to him that he would give Spain victory in a penalty shootout, Fabregas convinced Vincente del Bosque to allow him to take the fifth spot kick, instead of the second, as originally planned.  A line-up that obviously worked much better for Espana than Paulo Bento’s Portugal.

So, in the overall contest between two somewhat petulant former Arsenal players of average height, Fabregas came out on top, keeping Spain’s hope of a third consecutive finals win alive. 

Why Ronaldo shirked from taking his pen earlier is still unknown.  The player claims that Bento decided the line-up, though somehow I remain skeptical of the line-up being the result of some dictatorial determination from the manager.  If CR7 had wanted to take his penalty earlier, he would’ve been granted the opportunity to do so.  Instead, he wanted to hold out for the last spot, when, in reality, we all know that the first and fourth penalties are the most important.  

Note to Ronaldo: you can only get the glory if you take the pen, or, better yet, take your chance to put it away at the end of 90 as Messi would’ve.

But, while we laud Fabregas and discuss Ronaldo, it has been perhaps overlooked that Sergio Ramos’ cheeky take a la Pirlo was the real clincher for Spain.  Taking the fourth kick, he delivered where Bruno Alves faltered and provided Fabregas with the opportunity to secure it for Spain without having to see Ronaldo step up to the plate as it were.  And, on a lesser debated point, was the change up between Alves and Nani for the third kick an intentional ploy to confuse Casillas or just an inadvertent miscommunication of epic proportions?

In any event, Spain will need a more cutting edge to their tiki-totalitarianism against a quite adventurous and attacking Italian side.  To leave it to penalties again, well, would be a waste. 

So Much for Practicing Your Penalties

Hodgson's imperative was plainly unheeded by the two Ashley's (Young and Cole), with the latter further shrinking from the mantle of the best left back of all time, a title with which some in the English press are eager to anoint him.

And now we get to, err, play Germany...

But the penalties (missed and made) do not even begin to tell the story of the previous 120 minutes, which saw the prodigous Pirlo complete more passes (115) than England's four starting midfielders did against the Azzurri (so much for that whole T.B.O.F thing).  In extra time, the Three Lions only averaged a pass a minute (or what amounted to 15 in the last 15 minutes of the second overtime).  Their most successful passing combination in the game was Joe Hart ( the one English player to acquit himself well in these Euros) to Andy Carroll, a man who couldn't even top the ponytailed wonder sweepstakes when having a 50-50 chance of doing so (here's looking at you, Ibra).  All this against an Italian side, which came into this tournament reeling from a match fixing scandal, exposed in the back by Croatia and missing Giorgo Chiellini in this match.  


When you are not only out-classed but out-passed by the Italians, there can be no choice but to go back to the drawing board.  When the Italian press is bored to tears by your play, well, then find yourself a white flag.  

England were so negative that even George Carlin couldn't think of anything bad to say about their performance.


I hate beating a dead horse (well, I've actually never done that, though, as far as the idiom goes, Roy's Boys do become a quite tedious quite fast), but this iteration of the Three Lions has been particularly pitiful.  Half chances and kickball do not qualify you for the top 10 in the world.


In the end, all Gerrard & Co. could do was sit back and watch Italia's beautiful game - as I type this, there is in fact a pig circling the top floors of my apartment building.  Wait, never mind, that was just Wayne Rooney - still managing to stink up the place somehow.    

Just stay down, it's better for all involved.

By the by, isn't especially interesting that England have managed to become more defensive and austere in their play under Hodgson than they were under the much maligned Fabio Capello? 


Speaking of Capello, what a way for the ex-England manager to come out of the woodwork, eh? With all the tact of Lady Mao, Capello came down on wonder boy Rooney, who proved himself utterly incapable of performing in the red and white of England no matter what the spoken language of his manager.  

The Descent Into Middle Age

Spain were "pedestrian, inevitable and increasingly bloated in the middle," not at all dissimilar to  the current pathology of the American baby boomer.


Sometimes a win just isn't good enough. If you are the best in the world, you're supposed to do it with Liberace's flair and the jaw-dropping brilliance of Bobby Fisher - you're supposed to do it, well, like Germany. 

You mean you didn't enjoy the build up?

No longer rosy cheeked wonders riding a wave of exquisite passing and fine finishing, the Seleccion have lost their cutting edge, firmly in middle age and nearing over the hill status by the minute (or, so they are in the minds of their critics). 


Alas, David Villa is out and Fernando Torres no longer provides the attacking edge necessary to bring Spain's tiki-taka to its efficacious end. Villa's absence in particular has largely been overlooked this tournament, but it is in my mind the most auspicious. The leading scorer in Espana's 2008 Euro campaign, Villa's exploitation of the opposition's defensive weaknesses has not been unmatched by any of the no. 9's (real, false or otherwise) employed by del Bosque in this campaign. 

C'mon, Aragaones never had to deal with this ish back in the day.

The victory over France was banal to be sure, but they were playing to their personnel. To press for a second goal (even whilst retaining possession) requires a real attacking presence, which, unfortunately for the neutral spectator, is not something Spain have on offer now. 


Still best in the world (until someone else can prove otherwise on the pitch), they are just not as good as they were in 2008 or 2010. That is what is at the heart of the criticism of the current Spanish side, but, then again, no one said getting old was easy.

A Little Somethin' Somethin' to Tide You Over

How could you not?

If, like me, you found yourself experiencing painful withdrawal symptoms on this, the first rest day of the tourney, fear not, for I have aggregated some of the most important footballing news to help fill the Schweinsteiger shaped hole in your life...or at least tide you over until Czech Republic v. Portugal tomorrow.

• Pack your bag kids, Didier's going to China!  In non-Euro 2012 news, Drogba's services will now be employed by Shanghai Shenhuha, along with ex-Blue Nicolas Anelka.  In a statement, Drogba said that he hopes "to help promote Chinese football around the world and further improve the links between China and Africa."  Beyond that, $315k a week goes a long way in increasing the attractiveness of a Shanghai swan song.  Forget America, China is football's new great frontier; let's just hope that he has a better ROI than the much vaunted, though ultimately disappointing, Beckham effect.  On a related note, can you really think of a better  way to go out?

• Sepp Blatter is in favor of goal-line technology.  Michel Platini is not.  And who was supposed to be the relic here? Perhaps Monsieur Paltini will now entertain the idea of transparent goal frames - at least that way, the fifth official wouldn't have the excuse of the post being in the way.  

• Steven Gerrard has confirmed that England won't underestimate their Italian opposition.  Whew, color me relieved.  I would have been otherwise convinced that Roy's Boys may have not fully appreciated the challenge the four-time world champions may present come Sunday.  Really, I didn't know you to be so magnanimous, Stevie.  I'm glad to see your recent spate of top form at the Kop and the soaring fortunes of your club side haven't caused you to lose perspective and pity those less successful.  Oh, wait, nevermind...

• Claiming their position at the opposite end of the locker room unity/self-belief camp are the other qualifiers from Group D.  I obviously spoke too soon when it came to Le Bleus (thank you, Mr. Malouda).  It wasn't a full on mutiny for sure, but it could definitely be classified as a more than minor disturbance.  And while France's failure on Tuesday was the result of a complete team breakdown, Paul Doyle's apt assessment of the contributions, or lack thereof, of Man City darling Samir Nasri is quite on point for the whole lot. From Doyle:

"You will recall that after Samir Nasri scored against England earlier in the tournament, he made a 'shut up' gesture to the hackery that had been critical of his previous performances.  So the question that must be asked in the wake of his diabolical display last night is: what would be an appropriate 'OK, you can criticise me again' gesture? Should he have removed his shirt and painted a bulls eye on his chest as he was substituted?  Slapped himself around the chops?  Bent over?"

Spoke Gestured too soon?

I'll leave it to you to determine the merits of Doyle's various proposals, though, I would recommend Samir invest in some padded panties just in case. Hell, it may be worthwhile to buy in bulk at this point.

The Trouble with Tiki-Taka

It’s true: you can have too much of a good thing.  

Beautiful and intricate passing ad nauseam can give way to complacency and a lack of forward thinking, lulling sides into a false sense of security, as they knock it around the midfield, and often having them pay the price for their profligacy. 

Spain succumbed to the very real perils of tiki-taka against Croatia.  They were “a parody of themselves” in the words of Rob Smyth, holding possession for the vast majority of the game but creating very few quality chances from it.  So long as they held the ball, you got the sense that they were able to trick themselves into believing that they had complete control of the game.  It was, in fact, an apocryphal control. 

Del Bosque's men left themselves to be exposed on the counter throughout the match, just as they were on the back of Luka Modric’s exceptional cross to Ivan Rakitic (resulting in a sublime Casillas save).  The uncomfortable reality was that the reigning European and World Champions were still in by only the thinnest of margins.  And the more they passed, the more their forward movement stagnated and their shape narrowed; the play largely confined to a small swath of the pitch around the half-way line as La Roja pondered their next short pass.

Gotta keep possession.

What can be done to remedy their wanton ways?  Well, for starters, Arbeloa and Silva need to make way for Cesc and Navas, which would then allow Iniesta to play in his Barca role instead of being stranded wastefully on the wing.  Arbeloa is by some measure the worst player on the Spanish side, and Silva has been ineffectual throughout.  And then there is El Nino, for whom a suspect Irish defense is apparently the only opposition against which he can prove effective.  


Seriously, Fernando Llorente must be wondering what he has to do to get a whiff of the pitch at this point.  And, while Torres is certainly not good enough to produce on his own, if del Bosque insists on giving him another run out, at least he would benefit from the complementary wing play of Navas and an opportunity to play off of a false no. 9 like Fabregas this time around. 

The French brand of tiki-taka certainly didn’t rival the Spanish form in technical accomplishment (there were far to many touches in between passes), but it was even more crippling.  Against the already elimintated Swedes, Lorent Blanc’s side lost the plot even while enjoying possession for large swathes of the first forty-five.  Their build-up was painfully protracted and lethargic.  Yes, their defense was (is) shambolic (how Mexes ever got to this level is far beyond my scope of comprehension) but had they been able to seize the opportunities their possession presented, the scoreline may have allowed them to withstand Zlatan Ibrahimovic's brilliant strike with some composure intact.

The result of a somewhat more direct approach.

Moderation is the key.  There needs to be a balance between a direct line to the goal and meandering possession without a real end.  

Whether Spain or France will heed these lessons remains to be seen.  If nothing else, it will be difficult for either side to dominate possession in the manner they've been able to do so heretofore, given the tactics of the other, and that may very well be a good thing.  

P.S. For those still unsure of what constitutes good tiki-taka, here's a little how-to courtesy of Barca.  Phil Jackson was right: it is all about the triangles. 

Total Football (Failure)

Hours can be passed trying to diagnose all the causes of the recent Dutch debacle.  The magnitude of De Oranje’s ineptitude on and off the pitch provided a plethora of material for the footie pundits and arm-chair analysts.  In the face of any kind of adversity or pressure, Bert van Marwijk’s men recoiled in a manner more akin to a third grader with crippling stage fright than a team of (purported) seasoned pros.  Their utter and complete lack of any sort of cohesion or coordination strangely reminiscent of the Germany’s mishandling of the Eurozone sovereign debt crisis, and the culmination of all of this being, of course, Holland’s worst ever tournament showing. 

That about sums it up.

The side has hit such a bottom that the post transvestite sucker-punching Danny Bonaduce is still looking down on them. 

It can no longer be denied: now is the time for KNVB to get help. 

Perhaps the only good news for Dutch fans is that the history of football shows us that this feat is not beyond the scope.  It was only just over a decade ago that Germany experienced their worst tournament showing since the 1938 World Cup, exiting the 2000 Euros in the most inglorious of fashions.  A mere eight years later they were competing in the European Championship final in Vienna and another four years on from that they are considered the class of this tourney (along with Spain) and have high hopes for World Cup 2014. 

Before Germany it was France,* whose reconstruction was necessitated by an inability to even qualify 1994 World Cup.  Four years on, they were world champions.  And on whom did the French model their rehabilitation?

The Netherlands, of course.  They are the very originators of football reinvention, who pioneered a youth system that produced a side capable of winning Euro 1988, reversing a draught that saw them fail to qualify for the previous iteration of that competition (as well as the two prior World Cups).

That's more like it.

Let’s just hope that this turnaround follows the trajectory of the Robert Downey Jr. rather than the Lindsay Lohan variety.

I’m in the optimistic camp.  Euro 2020 field, you’ve been warned.   

*Actually, it is now France again after their South African abomination.  And look how far they’ve come: leading Group D going into the final round of group matches and no mutinies of which to speak.  Time really does heal all wounds. 

Geia Sou Re ELLADA!!

A win and you're in.  That was the imperative for all of the teams in the Group A finales, though different permutations would've seen Russia, the Czech Republic and Poland go through.  For Greece, however, nothing but a win would do. 


And win they did.  


Giorgos Karagounis' half-time shocker putting the Ethniki on top to start the second and keeping them there for the remainder of the game.  The captain, however, would not only be denied an opportunity to double the advantage but also the chance atone for his abominable penalty miss in the opener.  And, not to be outdone in refereeing incompetence by his Spanish counterpart, Jonas Eriksson ensured that Karagounis will miss Greece's semifinal match-up, having picked up his second yellow in the group stage.

The captain's moment of class. 

As an aside, has any team been as disadvantaged by the referees as the Greeks in these Euros?  The powers that be seem intent on screwing them at every turn (draw parallels as you will).  

We feel you, Giorgo. 

The Russians, considered the class of the group, saw the majority of the ball and launched 31 shot attempts but were surprisingly laissez faire in their initial approach and by the time ish got real after Petr Jiracek's 72nd minute strike put the Czech Republic on their way to the semis, Dick Advocaat's men could not find the finish within them.  


For a nation that has endured more than its fair share of trials and tribulations over the past few years, this was a famous Greek win.  If for nothing else, there was the sense that no matter what the odds, anything is possible.  

Finally, something to celebrate.

Nowhere near pretty, the game nevertheless showed how beautiful football can be.  


I leave you with the words of Fernando Santos:


"We are inspired by the history of Greece.  The Greek people have great pride in their history and this deserves people's respect.  Civilization, democracy and the sciences started in Greece.  It is difficult for others to give us lessons."


Germany (and Merkel) should take note.  

T.B.O.F.

Two Bands of Four, that is.  It's now officially a thing.

The Three Lions put that tactic to fair use in their victory over the star-crossed Swedish with their wanting aerial defenses.  Of course, not before gifting them an own goal and losing their early lead, but let's put that aside for a moment and appreciate the somewhat improved efforts of the English.

The power of the ponytail. 

In the battle of the underachieving ponytailed wonders, Andy Carroll bested Ibra on the back of Gerrard's gorgeous cross, and it was left to Theo Wolcott to first draw England level and then provide service for Danny Welbeck's cheeky finish, which gifted their side the three points in the process.

England now have the great fortune of being level with France on points, while Sweden became the second team to crash out of the Euros at this stage.

The English were tactically, if not technically, improved, proving themselves capable of barely squeaking by one of the poorest sides in the tournament (you'd be hard pressed to argue differently given recent memories of Sheva's solo efforts in the opener).  Notwithstanding their continued mediocrity, Roy's Boys did prove to have a bit more mettle than I've given them credit for heretofore, but let's not mistake a moment of class with a consistent ability to produce it.

It's the difference between an accomplishment and being accomplished.   

If You Don't Have Something Nice to Say...

Or did your mother not teach you that either, Ronnie? 

Following another frustrated display against Denmark, the Portuguese captain responded thusly when asked about the Danish chants of "Messi, Messi" every time he touched the ball.  

Still can't catch me.

"You know where he was at this time [last year]? Do you know? He was being eliminated in the Copa America, in his own country.  I think that's worse, no?"


Insecure much?  And this time it wasn't even the head to toe Gucci that gave it away.


Also, I'm thinking that a semi-final exit in the Copa America is not as bad as losing the European Championship final in your own country.  


Those who throw stones, Ronnie, shouldn't live in a glass house...even if that will cut down on the number of mirror like surfaces in which you can gaze at your own reflection.  

Sublime Spaniards and an Irish Exit

Well, one thing is settled in Group C: Ireland will be going home on Monday. The rest, in keeping with current Euro 2012 trends, is still up in the air.

Spain dispatched with Ireland in a manner so clinical and relentless that even the most hardened fans of the Boys in Green were begging to be put out their second half misery come Silva's second for Spain...and that was only four minutes into the half.  You can't fault the Irish (or their fans, the best in the tournment imho); however, with the class differential between the two sides was somewhat akin to the divergence in stock price between Apple and Blackberry, and being down only one goal at halftime was considered a flattering scoreline for Giovanni Trapattoni's men.

Point in fact: a sub-par Xabi Alonso completed more passes in the first half than the entire Irish side.

And this wasn't the ineffectual possession of the Dutch variety.  Of 27 Spanish shots, 15 were on target, eliciting a number of excellent saves from Irish stalwart, Shay Given.  A special shout out goes out to one Fernando Torres, who put an abysmal opener and shambolic season at Chelsea behind him to reclaim form unseen since Roman Abramovich played Count Dracula to Torres' Mina Murphy (and, if you haven't gotten the full metaphor yet, Vincente del Bosque assumes the role of van Helsing's gang in this set-up).

Del Bosque's brilliance was on full display here.  While some questioned his decision to leave out Fabregas, del Bosque rightly recognized the great fortune of the Irish match-up.  What better conditions could there be for your crestfallen hit man to regain his killer instinct than against the weakest team in your group?  Not only would Xavi and Iniesta be able to hold court in the midfield, providing quality service unseen since Heidi Fleiss' Hollywood heyday, but literally Torres' only responsibility would be to put the ball on target.  And where El Nino had eyes for anything but goal in the first game, he firmly fixed his gaze upon it this time around, suddenly jolted from his semi-catatonic stupor after his fourth minute strike, he seemed a man fully in control of his own destiny on the brace.

It is all about confidence, after all. Even the man he replaced in the starting XI could not help but show his delight at his compatriot's return to form.

Lessons Learned

Today's Netherlands - Germany clash was a microcosm of the overarching trend of these Euros.

Here are a few things that I've learned from the game which can be applied to matches past and ones yet to be played:

1) Confidence is the single biggest determining factor of a striker's success.  

Quality of service and defensive shape be damned.  If you hit the ball with the breezy confidence of one "Super Mario" Gomez it cannot help but go in.  However, if your shot exhibits all the conviction of Mitt Romney's position on healthcare a la Robin van Persie's sorry excuse for a strike in the sixth minute, a positive outcome is unlikely to ensue.   It's quite like the difference between Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time" days and Spears' form post head shaving meltdown.  The latter is just not pretty.

Cheer up there chap - it will only get better once you do.

Whether it's the contrast that Torres and di Natale so sharply brought into focus or the marked difference in the strike rate of van Persie and Gomez, a lack of self confidence is a self-inflicted, self-reinforcing wound for a striker.

Forwards are often faulted for their egos off the pitch, but their inflated sense of self seems to be a key differentiator between the class of Euro 2012 and its rejects on it

2) You must play to win the game, not just play to not lose it.  

The Dutch have put on a master class on the latter throughout the tournament.  Not only was Bertie's decision to start with two holding midfielders against Denmark, leaving the attacking prowess of Klaas-Jan Huntelaar and Raphael van der Vaart on the bench, indefensible in a game which you would likely need to win to progress, but it also had the perverse effect of providing the basis for the Dane's positive play.  Michael Khron-Dehli et al were able to capitalize at the back because the Dutch were not able to kill off the game before they got their goal against the run of play, at which point Holland promptly proceeded to fall to pieces (confidence also being an important factor in overall team performance).

Still not good enough, Bomsie.

Put another way, starting Huntelaar and van der Vaart would've increased the odds of the Dutch playing up to their potential (the Hunter's 12 goals in 8 qualification games supporting this theory).   But that wasn't what van Marwijk's chose.  Why?  Because his personnel choices were based on a desire not to lose the game, which is not to be confused with actually winning it.  No matter that he chose a defensive midfield duo that couldn't defend, the reason they got the start was part and parcel of a plan for cautious play.  The famed Dutch attacking prowess be damned, better to be pragmatic about the whole bit, eh?  Well, we all know how that turned out.

More generally, you may find further proof of this phenomenon in the first forty-five minutes of both of Greece's outings and Sweden's "cowardly" opener against co-hosts Ukraine.

3) Don't underestimate the difficulty of making the simplest thing look easy.

The set-up for Gomez's brace was the result of simple, straightforward passing; his finishes, as clinical as the preceding delivery, appearing to be effortless in its execution. Or so we are meant to believe.

That's not so hard, now is it?

It is that very effortlessness that is the hallmark of a great team. Germany's passing was not the intricate stuff of Brazilian wet dreams, but it was purposeful, crisp and clean, and no easy feat (though, I wouldn't say it hurts the cause of cohesion when eight of your side play on the same club side).


Growing up, I was told that, if you are going to do something, do it well or not at all, but to do it well is in and of itself no easy task, especially at this level.  What will separate the great from the good in Euro 2012 and beyond is the ability to make more moments like Mario - true quality lies in making the Herculean appear attainable.

"Matters Political, Polemical and Historical"

But in the end all that mattered was the play on the pitch.  And while the Russia - Poland match-up produced a fair bit of quality on it, uninspired dreck was all that was on show in Greece's clash against the Czech Republic.

Greek Deficits and Bouncing "Czechs"

The goals came fast and thick (though not anywhere near pretty) at the start of the game, and it became quite apparent that Chalkias should've grabbed the bull by the horns and taken himself out that point (Greek fans now experiencing the engrossing ineptitude that the PAOK faithful have endured in recent years), while the new central defense combination of Papadopoulos (Kyriakos) and Katsouranis proved expectedly, if understandably, ineffectual.

The first forty-five saw the Greeks completely lose their wits, while Tomas Rosicky ran riot in the midfield.  But his still unexplained absence at the start of the second half provided the opening for which Ellas had so clumisly been searching.  It didn't hurt that Petr Cech chose that exact moment to return to his form from his foray against the Russians.  Alas, it didn't prove enough in the end (the fractionally, if at all, offside goal in the first half contributing to the scoreline inadequacy), and the Czechs are now second in Group A.  Seriously, who had that prediction after Day 1?

How to Celebrate Russia Day in Poland

Might I not suggest an organized march through the capital of a country with whom you've had varying degrees of enmity from the time of the Polish-Soviet War following the Bolshevik Revolution to present?  Nevertheless,contrary to the widely abused cliche, it is always still a game - and that, my friends, is the beauty of it.

And it proved to be quite the little charmer.  Andrei Arshavin showed the Euro 2008 form he was unable to recapture at Arsenal, with a brilliant inswinger that Alan Dzagoev flicked into the back of the net.  Russia had the run of the first half, though the Poles looked dangerous on the break.  The counterattack proved particularly fruitful in the second, as Jakub "Kuba" Blaszczykowski's spectacular solo effort on the other end of a blown Russian break brought them level in the 57th minute.  Kuba took care of business as a captain should (take note Stevie G).

Another fair draw in tournament play and one with which the Poles should be particularly pleased.

Update: Tomas Rosicky injured his Achilles tendon in the match today and is doubtful for the Czech outing against Poland.

First, Do No Harm

Are you sure you can't compress just a bit more at the back?

That doesn't necessarily mean you do any good either, just basically avoid shooting yourself in the foot.  Some metric of success.

Never have the media been so quick to claim a moral victory for the Three Lions.  Apparently, one good set play and 20% possession now qualifies as a “solid” and “disciplined” performance, rather than an abject failure of football as it would otherwise generally be classified.

Last I heard, however, mediocrity was never that much of a rallying cry, and, despite my many protestations against English exceptionalism in international football, it saddens me to think that this is the level to which they have been reduced.   

Understanding that a number of Hodgson’s first choices were out of contention, Roy’s Boys looked bereft of any forward thinking ideas for the entirety of the game, with France holding possession for large swathes of each half (kudos to Samir Nasri and Frank Ribery for stand out performances on the night).  

England was bland and cynical – their play making a mockery of the beautiful game appellation.  Yes, you have to play to your personnel, but you should either a) find a formation that does not involve “parking three buses in front of the goal” (couldn’t have described it better myself, Herr Ballack) or b) find better players. 

If this is really the best England has to offer, then they have much bigger problems than Wayne Rooney missing a game or two, because, at its most basic, this performance shows that they don’t have the technical abilities necessary to compete on the highest level (somehow this, even while being ranked 6^th in the world, thank you FIFA rankings for once again proving your utter uselessness).  And, even when Rooney does return against Ukraine, he will need quality service to do anything productive (contrary to popularly held belief of the English press, Rooney is more Mitt Romney’s Bain Capital than FDR’s New Deal).  Put simply, he’s not one to create opportunities for others.

Talking up your opponent to make your own ineptitude seem redeemable is almost as pitiful as the actual play was on the pitch.  France is no longer a Goliath.  A 1-1 draw against Spain, Germany or another one of their ilk, may have justified the quick claims of a moral victory (here’s looking at you, Italy).  But no one on this side of the English Channel is pushing the line that France is a true force in world football these days, no matter what recent qualifiers may suggest.   This isn’t Zidane, Thuram and Henry of the ’98 vintage.   It’s also worth remembering that this is the last memorable impression the French left in a major tournament, not that. 

From what I’ve gathered, the hope is that going forward England will be able to best a middle of the pack Swedish side and a Ukrainian team who cannot shoot or tackle as per their own coach.  If that’s your strategy, fine.  Just don’t go around claiming that you somehow still belong amongst football’s world powers.  A desire to play down to your opponents has never been the mark of a great team, and it never will be. 

Fun fact: Both goals in this game came from current Man City players.  Previous tally for the Blues at the Euros: 0. And who says money can’t buy you class?

A Tale of Two First Touches

How much can a first touch reveal?  Let’s look at the cases of Antonio di Natale and Fernando Torres.  Both subs in Sunday’s headline game, the two came on to very different ends.


Di Natale put in work, making a meal of the space left by the Spanish defense with a deft first touch.

Exhibit A

Torres made a mess of his first foray.  Beaten in the box from a hard charging Gigi Buffon, whose forceful field play denied Torres a redemptive strike.  Yes, you read that right: in a one-on-one, Gigi came out on top, no hands involved.

Exhibit B

Both moves emblematic of their greater career trends: the ascendant Italian and crest fallen Spaniard.  The contrast could not have been more stark. 

Lampard: England Can Emulate Chelsea's Path to Victory

Psst, guys, I have a plan

Oh, is that so now?  I didn't realize staking one's play on luck and attrition was a viable strategy.  While the latter is surely a trait exhibited by recent English sides on the national level, the former has not appeared to accompany their recent tourney campaigns to a commensurate degree.

Nevertheless, as Lampsie points out, there are similarities: missing players due to injury or idiocy, a new manager and less than ideal odds.

But the Three Lions' fortunes have been inversely correlated to those of the sides playing in the Premier League for the past decade.  A point Roy Hodgson understands all too well.

Roy's Boys have managed to con the pundits and the nation previously (hello, World Cup 2010 build up), and Hodgson is weary of the prospect again.  There's always the possibility that Ashley Young is on to something (and the fact that Le Blues are recovering from their own, arguably worse, train wreck doesn't make them the most fearsome opponents), but, in the meantime, you'll have to excuse me if I anticipate more of South Africa 2010 than Munich 2012.

P.S. Wouldn't it be refreshing if Lampard lived up to his own words the next time he were to put on the English kit?  As they say: you can talk the talk...

In the Immortal Words of Homer Simpson: D'OH!

Spot the similarities?

37 goals in 10 qualifying games? The ability to call upon the top scorer in the Premier League AND the Bundesliga?  No matter, it only takes one well heeled Danish counter attack to undo the attacking confidence of the Dutch side.

De Oranje have faced similar criticism before.  The fluid passing of their Total Football approach has all too often been marred by an impotency in front of goal.  Their breezy movement around the pitch no match for the no nonsense, hard tackling approach favored by other sides.  (Well, that was until South Africa 2010, which saw the Dutch place second on the back of a cynical, albeit generally effective, effort.)

It was supposed to be different this time.  On the back of an impressive qualifying campaign and, most recently, a 6-0 drubbing of Northern Ireland, the Netherlands came into this match professing the attacking promise and deep experience (the most experienced in the tourney, in fact, averaging 42 caps per player) that other sides would kill for.  Point in fact, Huntelaar and Van der Vaart spent the first 70 minutes on the bench (more on that later).

And it all went according to plan...well, for the first 23 minutes, after which Michael Krohn-Dehli's opportunistic strike - and Maarten Stekelenburg's incompetent goalkeeping - sucked the life out of the Dutch in a manner not dissimilar to recent trends in Facebook's stock price.

Keeping with previous international form, RVP proved a disappointment throughout, wrong footed on a number of occasions and completely lacking in the sharpness expected from someone who just netted 30 league goals for Arsenal (see CR7 for a paradigmatic example of this phenomenon). Even the late intros of Huntelaar, who has finally found his footing at Schalke, and the dynamic Van der Vaart were not enough to lift the by then harried Holland side, though they did contribute some new ideas and went about their work with a sense of conviction otherwise lacking from the Dutch (save Sneijder, a singular consistent bright spot in the side) in the second half.


Exhibit A: Sneijder's magnificent through ball to Huntelaar and the ancillary chances that were created.  The last twenty minutes made the case for The Hunter up front with Sneijder as Trequartista for the Oranje's next outing against Germany.

Credit the Danes, though, who, while defensive throughout, benefitted from stand out performances from Krohn-Dehli, Simon Paulsen and Daniel Agger, and pushed the counter-attack when the opportunity arose.  In the end, it wasn't a shocker, just a case of one side taking advantage of 8 goal attempts, while the other wasted 28.

Don't Call It A Comeback...

Pascal Lauener/Reuters

It may better be classified as a resurrection.  From a hapless first half effort to a relatively fluid showing in the second forty-five, Santos was able to inject life into the Galanolefki in the form of Dimitris Salpingidis, whose movement opened up the Polish defense and whose first touch lifted Greek hearts.  


It did not start out so rosy for the Santos and company.  The Biało-czerwoni had a tremendous home field advantage, which, ironically, came in the form of the Spanish referee.  Their movement in the midfield was unmatched by the Greeks, creating numerous opportunities for Jakub "Kuba" Blaszczykowski to disabuse Jose Cholebas on the wing.  In fact, it was Kuba's prime cross that set up a sweet header from the rumored Man United target, Robert Lewandowski, who made easy work of the lofted ball, while Kostas Chalkias was left to reconsider his ill-considered decision to take an impetuous, yet particularly ineffective, swipe at the ball.

Despite their first half struggles, there was an edge to the Greeks throughout, and, while some saw this as the tale of two halves, the turning point for me came with the inexplicable ejection of Sokratis Papasthatopoulos, leaving the Greeks, backs against the wall, with no choice but to fight.  The second-half introductions of Salpingidis and Kostas Fortounis and the gradual improvement of Ninis' service combined to provide the most convincing play of the period.  Now it was the Poles turn to look overwhlemed by the occasion, and none were more so than Wojciech Szczesny, whose clumsy foray into the box was rewarded with an early shower and a Greek penalty.  It was a sight unwelcome to Arsenal fans, if not unfamiliar *cough, Jens Lehmann, cough*, though Szczesny had the last laugh when Przemyslaw Tyton stopped Karagounis languid penalty try.  

In 2004, Greece beat the hosts 2-1 in their opener (and we all know how that ended), and that scoreline was entirely within their grasp this time around as well, if not for the less than lucky disallowed Salpingidis goal and the unfortunate Karagounis penalty.  Though, to be fair,  Tyton earned his keep with that stop - there are very few keepers who can acquit themselves so well off of the bench, even if the shot that hurtled toward him came with all the speed of a sloth on sleeping pills.  All in all, the result seemed fair to the neutral fan, though both sides may not help but feel a bit cheated by the final outcome. 


A few other thoughts on the opening game of the tourney:

• It is a custom to grow out one's facial hair in the playoffs or during a particularly bright period of play in American sports; Giorgios Samaras should shave his in hopes of reversing his current trend of form.  If, as I suspect, there is no improvement in his play, then at least the move will pay aesthetic dividends.  You may be over the hill and generally over rated for the entirety of your career, but you don't have to be ugly.

• This game demonstrated the difference between Sotiris Ninis and Kostas Fortounis: the former will be a fine supporting player, while the latter is the country's best chance of having a talent capable of producing class on a European stage.  

• If your record includes doling out 16 red cards in 19 La Liga games, your judgement as a referee should be automatically be brought into question.  If you then manage to give out two red cards in the first game of a European championship, you should not be a referee any more.  Period.