Languishing Liverpool and Other League Happenings

Another day, another loss. 

Opening the goal scoring account.

It's their worst start to a season since 1962-1963 (when they were a wee newly promoted side).  But it wasn't that Liverpool played poorly per se, it was just, in a cruel twist of fate against the Premiership's paradigmatic less-than-prodigious-striking side, they were the ones that could not put the ball away.

Despite outshooting the opposition 19-11 and holding the majority of possession throughout, Gerrard and company nevertheless lacked any semblance of cutting edge, sorely missing a true striker up top (Suarez, try as he might, is not the out and out goalscorer the stuff of which dreams are made).   The question is - now that the transfer window has closed - where do they go from here?

The story for Arsenal was again their defense, which stymied the Reds offensive forays and kept another clean sheet, allowing Podolski and Carzorla to capitalize on counterattacks.  Diaby excelled with some impressive footwork and movement in the midfield, but, for the most part, Arsenal bypassed the middle of the pitch for a more direct route to goal, in a switch reminiscent of Romney's flip flop on universal healthcare on the way to the Republican nomination (they just did it with more conviction).  In forsaking their usual roundabout fare for an effective counterattacking approach, Wegner's men showed an adaptability that had been missing heretofore and should give the faithful hope for the season ahead, particularly after two less than heartening draws.

GOOOALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

Elsewhere, Man City topped QPR a day after the big monied side brought on five new signings, including Mancini's San Siro compatriot Maicon and former Chelsea reject Scott Sinclair, while Swansea, the current No. 2 side in the league, had their 100% streak broken with a 2-2 tie against Sunderland.

Meaning the top 4 after 3 games are as follows:

1. Chelsea - 9 pts, 6 GD
2. Swansea - 7 pts, 8 GD
3. West Brom - 7 pts, 5 GD
4. Man City - 7 pts, 3 GD


League leaders Chelsea had the weekend off, but not before suffering a humiliatingly hapless 4-1 defeat at the hands of Aletico Madrid in the Super Cup, with former target Radamel Falcao putting away a hat trick within the first 45.

On a side note, Fernando Torres now cannot play: 1) in Spain, 2) off of another striker, 3) more generally with any quality for Chelsea for more than two consecutive games...the thing is even with all of Abramovich's millions he still can't buy a midfield that will spoon-feed El Nino service like Spain's national side and even if that were a possibility will Roberto di Matteo be as benevolent in his side selection as del Bosque was during the Euros?  And even if he did have the heart to, should he?

The Italian Bogeyman

Speaking of the Azzurri, who would've thought they had this kind of performance in them?  Germany certainly would not underestimate the historical football Elmer Fudd to die Mannschaft's Bugs Bunny (see, World Cups 1970, 1982 and 2006).  Surely, they would heed the sage advice of one Steven Gerrard and fully appreciate the Italian threat.

Will the real Super Mario please stand up.

To be fair, it must be present certain psychological difficulties to a side who last trailed in a competitive match in their third-place game...at the 2010 World Cup (or some 1,313 minutes ago).  


The Italians put the comeback even farther out of the mental reach of the Germans when Balotelli doubled his tournament total with a smashing solo effort into the top right hand corner in the 36th. At once both l'enfant terrible and transcendent talent, Balotelli's brilliant brace all but assured Italy's place even before the start of the second half.


And in very un-German-like fashion, Germany folded after a brief foray forward in the second half, their erratic defending and wanton finishing finally causing them to pay the full price for profligacy.  Jogi Low could only rue the many missed chances, as Manuel Neuer bounded upfield to function as an auxiliary striker after Ozil's penalty gave Germany hope for a Hail Mary.  


Just another golden opportunity and another missed chance for Deutschland's Tournea Mannschaft, who are beginning to resemble more of the Jim Kelly led Bills of the 1990s than an actual title contender.  

So Much for Practicing Your Penalties

Hodgson's imperative was plainly unheeded by the two Ashley's (Young and Cole), with the latter further shrinking from the mantle of the best left back of all time, a title with which some in the English press are eager to anoint him.

And now we get to, err, play Germany...

But the penalties (missed and made) do not even begin to tell the story of the previous 120 minutes, which saw the prodigous Pirlo complete more passes (115) than England's four starting midfielders did against the Azzurri (so much for that whole T.B.O.F thing).  In extra time, the Three Lions only averaged a pass a minute (or what amounted to 15 in the last 15 minutes of the second overtime).  Their most successful passing combination in the game was Joe Hart ( the one English player to acquit himself well in these Euros) to Andy Carroll, a man who couldn't even top the ponytailed wonder sweepstakes when having a 50-50 chance of doing so (here's looking at you, Ibra).  All this against an Italian side, which came into this tournament reeling from a match fixing scandal, exposed in the back by Croatia and missing Giorgo Chiellini in this match.  


When you are not only out-classed but out-passed by the Italians, there can be no choice but to go back to the drawing board.  When the Italian press is bored to tears by your play, well, then find yourself a white flag.  

England were so negative that even George Carlin couldn't think of anything bad to say about their performance.


I hate beating a dead horse (well, I've actually never done that, though, as far as the idiom goes, Roy's Boys do become a quite tedious quite fast), but this iteration of the Three Lions has been particularly pitiful.  Half chances and kickball do not qualify you for the top 10 in the world.


In the end, all Gerrard & Co. could do was sit back and watch Italia's beautiful game - as I type this, there is in fact a pig circling the top floors of my apartment building.  Wait, never mind, that was just Wayne Rooney - still managing to stink up the place somehow.    

Just stay down, it's better for all involved.

By the by, isn't especially interesting that England have managed to become more defensive and austere in their play under Hodgson than they were under the much maligned Fabio Capello? 


Speaking of Capello, what a way for the ex-England manager to come out of the woodwork, eh? With all the tact of Lady Mao, Capello came down on wonder boy Rooney, who proved himself utterly incapable of performing in the red and white of England no matter what the spoken language of his manager.  

A Little Somethin' Somethin' to Tide You Over

How could you not?

If, like me, you found yourself experiencing painful withdrawal symptoms on this, the first rest day of the tourney, fear not, for I have aggregated some of the most important footballing news to help fill the Schweinsteiger shaped hole in your life...or at least tide you over until Czech Republic v. Portugal tomorrow.

• Pack your bag kids, Didier's going to China!  In non-Euro 2012 news, Drogba's services will now be employed by Shanghai Shenhuha, along with ex-Blue Nicolas Anelka.  In a statement, Drogba said that he hopes "to help promote Chinese football around the world and further improve the links between China and Africa."  Beyond that, $315k a week goes a long way in increasing the attractiveness of a Shanghai swan song.  Forget America, China is football's new great frontier; let's just hope that he has a better ROI than the much vaunted, though ultimately disappointing, Beckham effect.  On a related note, can you really think of a better  way to go out?

• Sepp Blatter is in favor of goal-line technology.  Michel Platini is not.  And who was supposed to be the relic here? Perhaps Monsieur Paltini will now entertain the idea of transparent goal frames - at least that way, the fifth official wouldn't have the excuse of the post being in the way.  

• Steven Gerrard has confirmed that England won't underestimate their Italian opposition.  Whew, color me relieved.  I would have been otherwise convinced that Roy's Boys may have not fully appreciated the challenge the four-time world champions may present come Sunday.  Really, I didn't know you to be so magnanimous, Stevie.  I'm glad to see your recent spate of top form at the Kop and the soaring fortunes of your club side haven't caused you to lose perspective and pity those less successful.  Oh, wait, nevermind...

• Claiming their position at the opposite end of the locker room unity/self-belief camp are the other qualifiers from Group D.  I obviously spoke too soon when it came to Le Bleus (thank you, Mr. Malouda).  It wasn't a full on mutiny for sure, but it could definitely be classified as a more than minor disturbance.  And while France's failure on Tuesday was the result of a complete team breakdown, Paul Doyle's apt assessment of the contributions, or lack thereof, of Man City darling Samir Nasri is quite on point for the whole lot. From Doyle:

"You will recall that after Samir Nasri scored against England earlier in the tournament, he made a 'shut up' gesture to the hackery that had been critical of his previous performances.  So the question that must be asked in the wake of his diabolical display last night is: what would be an appropriate 'OK, you can criticise me again' gesture? Should he have removed his shirt and painted a bulls eye on his chest as he was substituted?  Slapped himself around the chops?  Bent over?"

Spoke Gestured too soon?

I'll leave it to you to determine the merits of Doyle's various proposals, though, I would recommend Samir invest in some padded panties just in case. Hell, it may be worthwhile to buy in bulk at this point.

Slippery Hands, Slipping Hopes

I have lived in England, and, for as much as the press there does harass the NT when they do not meet expectations, they also build them up far beyond their collective capabilities, when they so much as threaten to come close to reaching their potential. It always has been thus, and it likely will always be.

So keep in mind the general chorus heralding England as favorites (see the usually objective June FourFourTwo cover to see how far the delusion had spread) was based in fact: England did have a near faultless qualifying campaign. Yet, even this triumph must be put in proper perspective, for it was not but two years ago that the Three Lions did not even qualify for the European Championships and a mere four years (with many of the same players) that they embarrassed English football in Germany.

Yes, the manager has changed. Yes, the formation is now better suited to the English personnel. Nevertheless, the English still suffer from three main faults: 1) poor goalkeeping; 2) star players* whose sum is somehow always less than their individual parts; and 3) a mental deficiency that causes the Three Lions to panic and abandon their game plan when something does not go their way in the course of a game (see: Robert Green's bungle and England's impotency thereafter).

As the game against the Americans aptly shows, none of these issues have been remedied. And no one, least of all England, is going to go on to international success without a top class goalkeeper and a shoddy, patched up defense unable to protect said subpar goalie. In England's case, this is especially true, as they also lack the ability to outscore the opposition, despite the individual brilliance of their offensive weapons.

For the English to have ever thought differently (i.e. that they had a realistic chance), suggests a level of self-dellusionment that is still surprising, even if it has become routine.

Though England still have a good chance to advance past the group stage, the papers will continue to (hysterically) decry Saturday's events. However, the truth is that England always was a second/third round team, so when they exit at that stage no one should be surprised.

*Above star players refer to Gerrard, Terry, Lampard, most anyone that is, except for Rooney, who Capello should've definitely subbed (instead of the hard-working Heskey) in the second half. The English's unabiding admiration for Rooney has always amazed and confused me, given that he has never shown up for country on a big international stage. To my further dismay, they exalt Rooney's play, when, in fact, his brutish style can serve only as a general affront to the sensibilities of those who love the beautiful game.

Not to beat a dead horse or anything, but Rooney's is a brilliance that has always been surpassed by that of Messi and Ronaldo. Simply put, the attempts to elevate him to that class level are consistently shown to be absolute rubbish every time he steps out on the pitch. He plays with heart to be sure, but Rooney simply lacks the skill to be the best player in the world. Period. To my mind, it is fair to say that he is the one star whose individual level of NT play is consistently on par with England's collective level of incompetence.

Dude Cannot Catch A Break

I have alternated between pity for Rafa's predicament, disdain for his transfer policy, and bewilderment at his preference for rotation, but right now I cannot feel anything but sorry for the man.

Not only have Liverpool just crashed out of the FA Cup at Anfield, but they lost both Fernando Torres (knee) and Steven Gerrard (hamstring) before the start of the second half in the process.

It all started out so well (ok, well enough): New signing Maxi Rodriguez was in the stands, Rafa was seeing silverware in his side's future, and Reading even obliged their hapless hosts with a one goal advantage, after the Royal's Ryan Bertrand steered the ball past his own keeper. Even in the front office, it all seemed to be going the Spaniard's way, as one American recused himself, though admittedly not the one Kop faithful would most like to rid themselves of.

But, all good/subpar/barely passible things must come to an end, and so it did for Liverpool on Wednesday night. In the dying minutes of regulation, Reading were given a golden opportunity to equalize after Yossi Benayoun was judged to have fouled Shane Long in the box, which is exactly what Gylfi Sigurdsson did after stepping up to take the penalty. That disappointment became heartbreak only ten minutes later, when Long fired Reading tops. It was another nail in the coffin of the Red's season, finally, if inhumanely, obliterating the last modicum of confidence 'Pool players had diluded themselves into possessing.

Oh yeah and all this on the heel of news that Rafa might be forced to sell El Nino, if (read: when) Liverpool don't qualify for the Champions League next season.

UPDATE: And so it went from bad to worse. Reports have Nando missing 6 weeks with a knee cartilege injury that will require surgery, while Yossi Benayoun (fractured rib; expected 4 week absence) and Stevie G (strained hamstring; expected 2 week absence) did not fare much better.

Abysmal Play? It Has to Be Serie A!

At the Christmas break, Inter pretty much have the league wrapped up. This despite only scoring one goal in each of the last four games (resulting in two wins, one loss, and one tie). So not only is the league title a forgone conclusion, but the most dominant team in that league, the defending champions of Serie A, have struggled to produce substantial offensive output. It also seems as though Samuel Eto'o is suffering from the same, predictable Serie A malaise as Kaka once did..

Need a further indictment of the level of play/players in the Italian top flight? Just look to FIFA's World XI. Soccer's governing body went with a 4-3-3 formation with Iker Casillas in goal (Real Madrid/Spain), Dani Alves (Barcelona/Brazil), Nemanja Vidic (Man Utd/Serbia), John Terry (Chelsea/England), and Patrice Evra (Man Utd/France) across the back.

Headlining midfielders include Steven Gerrard (Liverpool/England) and Xavi and Iniesta (both of Barcelona/Spain).

Finally, up front Puskas Award winner Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Madrid/Portugal) is joined by Fernando Torres (Liverpool/Spain) and, of course, FIFA World Player of the Year Leo Messi (Barcelona/Argentina).

Which is a round-about way of saying that not one of the World XI is from Italy or playing for an Italian team.

P [dot] S The preponderance of English and Spanish clubs is understandable, given those players' success in competitions for club and country. Nevertheless, it does seem curious that Ligue Un's Player of the Year Yoann Gourcuff was left off this list (maybe in the place of Stevie G?).

Gourcuff was a true master of the midfield last season, producing the kind of displays that earned him a (justified) comparison to the great Zidane and earned Bordeaux their first title in a decade. Actually, come to think of it, Gourcuff's resurgence coincided with his Italian escape. And that pretty much sums up my point.

So This is What a World Record Transfer Fee Buys You....

After sitting out the last two months owing to an ankle injury or a curse or some combination thereof, Cristiano Ronaldo has now featured in the last two Real Madrid CL matches against FC Zurich (as a sub) and Marseille (as the scorer of a brace) in addition to playing in El Clasico. He is currently the leading scorer in the Champions League and added what was probably one of the best strikes of the competition to his haul this week.

All this, and there's the fact that he's still "not 100%."

In other Champions League news, top spots went to: Bordeaux, which eeked out a 1-0 win against lowly Maccabi Haifa; Man Utd, with Michael Owen's hat trick capping an otherwise lackadaisical performance; Chelsea, which drew with Apoel Nicosia 2-2, but lost Michael Essien for at least a month; Fiorentina, which effectively ruined Steven Gerrard's 500th appearance for Liverpool.

There was also Barcelona, with Messi ensuring first place on a night when all four teams had a chance at the top two; Sevilla, which finally put Rangers out of their CL misery with a 1-0 win; and, Arsenal, which still managed to top the group despite losing 0-1 to an enterprising Olympiakos side.

Second place (in order of groups [A-H]) is as follows: Bayern Munich; CSKA Moscow; AC Milan; FC Porto; Lyon; Internazionale; VfB Stuttgart; and Olympiakos.

The draw for the Round of 16 matches will take place on December 18th and matches will begin on February 16th and 17th.

UPDATE: Not For Sale!

It seems the giant fire sale that was rumored at Anfield will not come about, per Liverpool's co-owner Tom Hicks. So no new stadium, but at least Reds fans will have Nando, Gerrard, et al to keep them company at home on those cold European nights next year.

P dot S Liverpool's owners are not the most adept PR people. When it comes to the hearts and minds of Reds fans, it always seems to be one step forward and twenty back. So, naturally, after reassuring the faithful that their top talent will not be sacrificed for financial reasons, Hicks decided it would be good to follow that up by conveying his disappointment in Liverpool's on pitch performances.

Note to Hicks: Get in touch with your fans. If you were to ask anyone in the Kop, they would be able to tell you that if your finances were better, your on pitch performances would follow suit. In fact, if you actually provided the club with sufficient cash on hand, then perhaps the heart of your midfield wouldn't have been sold over the summer. Just sayin'.