Languishing Liverpool and Other League Happenings

Another day, another loss. 

Opening the goal scoring account.

It's their worst start to a season since 1962-1963 (when they were a wee newly promoted side).  But it wasn't that Liverpool played poorly per se, it was just, in a cruel twist of fate against the Premiership's paradigmatic less-than-prodigious-striking side, they were the ones that could not put the ball away.

Despite outshooting the opposition 19-11 and holding the majority of possession throughout, Gerrard and company nevertheless lacked any semblance of cutting edge, sorely missing a true striker up top (Suarez, try as he might, is not the out and out goalscorer the stuff of which dreams are made).   The question is - now that the transfer window has closed - where do they go from here?

The story for Arsenal was again their defense, which stymied the Reds offensive forays and kept another clean sheet, allowing Podolski and Carzorla to capitalize on counterattacks.  Diaby excelled with some impressive footwork and movement in the midfield, but, for the most part, Arsenal bypassed the middle of the pitch for a more direct route to goal, in a switch reminiscent of Romney's flip flop on universal healthcare on the way to the Republican nomination (they just did it with more conviction).  In forsaking their usual roundabout fare for an effective counterattacking approach, Wegner's men showed an adaptability that had been missing heretofore and should give the faithful hope for the season ahead, particularly after two less than heartening draws.

GOOOALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

Elsewhere, Man City topped QPR a day after the big monied side brought on five new signings, including Mancini's San Siro compatriot Maicon and former Chelsea reject Scott Sinclair, while Swansea, the current No. 2 side in the league, had their 100% streak broken with a 2-2 tie against Sunderland.

Meaning the top 4 after 3 games are as follows:

1. Chelsea - 9 pts, 6 GD
2. Swansea - 7 pts, 8 GD
3. West Brom - 7 pts, 5 GD
4. Man City - 7 pts, 3 GD


League leaders Chelsea had the weekend off, but not before suffering a humiliatingly hapless 4-1 defeat at the hands of Aletico Madrid in the Super Cup, with former target Radamel Falcao putting away a hat trick within the first 45.

On a side note, Fernando Torres now cannot play: 1) in Spain, 2) off of another striker, 3) more generally with any quality for Chelsea for more than two consecutive games...the thing is even with all of Abramovich's millions he still can't buy a midfield that will spoon-feed El Nino service like Spain's national side and even if that were a possibility will Roberto di Matteo be as benevolent in his side selection as del Bosque was during the Euros?  And even if he did have the heart to, should he?

A Little Somethin' Somethin' to Tide You Over

How could you not?

If, like me, you found yourself experiencing painful withdrawal symptoms on this, the first rest day of the tourney, fear not, for I have aggregated some of the most important footballing news to help fill the Schweinsteiger shaped hole in your life...or at least tide you over until Czech Republic v. Portugal tomorrow.

• Pack your bag kids, Didier's going to China!  In non-Euro 2012 news, Drogba's services will now be employed by Shanghai Shenhuha, along with ex-Blue Nicolas Anelka.  In a statement, Drogba said that he hopes "to help promote Chinese football around the world and further improve the links between China and Africa."  Beyond that, $315k a week goes a long way in increasing the attractiveness of a Shanghai swan song.  Forget America, China is football's new great frontier; let's just hope that he has a better ROI than the much vaunted, though ultimately disappointing, Beckham effect.  On a related note, can you really think of a better  way to go out?

• Sepp Blatter is in favor of goal-line technology.  Michel Platini is not.  And who was supposed to be the relic here? Perhaps Monsieur Paltini will now entertain the idea of transparent goal frames - at least that way, the fifth official wouldn't have the excuse of the post being in the way.  

• Steven Gerrard has confirmed that England won't underestimate their Italian opposition.  Whew, color me relieved.  I would have been otherwise convinced that Roy's Boys may have not fully appreciated the challenge the four-time world champions may present come Sunday.  Really, I didn't know you to be so magnanimous, Stevie.  I'm glad to see your recent spate of top form at the Kop and the soaring fortunes of your club side haven't caused you to lose perspective and pity those less successful.  Oh, wait, nevermind...

• Claiming their position at the opposite end of the locker room unity/self-belief camp are the other qualifiers from Group D.  I obviously spoke too soon when it came to Le Bleus (thank you, Mr. Malouda).  It wasn't a full on mutiny for sure, but it could definitely be classified as a more than minor disturbance.  And while France's failure on Tuesday was the result of a complete team breakdown, Paul Doyle's apt assessment of the contributions, or lack thereof, of Man City darling Samir Nasri is quite on point for the whole lot. From Doyle:

"You will recall that after Samir Nasri scored against England earlier in the tournament, he made a 'shut up' gesture to the hackery that had been critical of his previous performances.  So the question that must be asked in the wake of his diabolical display last night is: what would be an appropriate 'OK, you can criticise me again' gesture? Should he have removed his shirt and painted a bulls eye on his chest as he was substituted?  Slapped himself around the chops?  Bent over?"

Spoke Gestured too soon?

I'll leave it to you to determine the merits of Doyle's various proposals, though, I would recommend Samir invest in some padded panties just in case. Hell, it may be worthwhile to buy in bulk at this point.

Just Sayin'

Kaka: Marca is now reporting that AC Milan sold Los Merengues a "broken" Kaka for a still astounding 68.5 million euros. Granted Madrid victimhood at the hands of jealous outsiders conspiring against them is not an unexpected theme in the Madrid-leaning daily, but I have always questioned the enormous fee paid for the Brazilian, even before the full extent of the indifference of first season at Los Blancos became known. Now while Marca may want to attribute that loss in form to an actual physical ailment, I am more inclined to think it derives from the horrendous play stylings of Serie A to which Kaka was exposed to for far too long....just sayin'.

Handball Ref: Word is that FIFA has decided to include the aptly named "Henry handball ref" in their roster of 30 referees for this summer's tournament in South Africa, because there is really no better way to say eff off to the Irish than to allow this official to continue to call games, after having already refused to step up and institute replay technology and/or extra endline officiating measures...just sayin'.

Chav-tastic Terry: In an interview with The Sun, the former England captain finally broke his silence about the controversy surrounding his recently-revealed affair with former biffle/Chelsea teammate Wayne Bridge's baby mama, Vanessa Perroncel. Terry apparently thought the time opportune to state that he and wife Toni's relationship has never "been knocked down" and that they are just "so in love." Now, normally the tawdry affairs borne from inflated footballer's egos are beyond the scope of this blog, but when the indiscretion begins to affect on pitch performances (see: Terry versus Everton) and off field preparations (see: England, World Cup 2010) then it actually becomes a footballing, as opposed to a private, matter, John. Moreover, no matter how you want to spin it, this mess isn't the media's doing, so taking responsibility in your public and sporting life, not just at home, is actually necessary...just sayin'.

Chelsea's 7-2 drubbing of a sorry Sunderland side made a few statements on Saturday.

To the pundits: Yes, you can take four of our first-team players, including our leading scorer/offensive lynchpin, and we'll still be fine.

To the doubters: Arsenal good, Man Utd better, Chelsea best.

To Jose: Balotelli won't be your biggest headache come February.

Furthermore, even though Man Utd and Arsenal managed to stay close, neither team has consistently challenged Chelsea this year - either in quality or results. Particularly disappointing have been the Red Devils, who, for being just a solitary point back from top of the table, have never seemed to have the undefinable, yet indispensible, "it" this season, while the young Gunners have suffered multiple injury mishaps, with which their squad is just not equipped to deal.

In the end, the result seemed merciful as Anelka could've easily compounded the pain if he had capitalized on a sitter, while Lampsie narrowly missed the goal more than once. Free-flowing attack-minded football wasn't in the Blue's nature in title-winning years past, but it may just be their hallmark in 2010.

Man Utd Pull A Madrid

The headlines could be the same: "Top-Flight Title Contender Dumped out of League Cup By Third-Tier Side."

If you're blanking a little allow me to refresh your memory. Remember way back when Madrid were dropped out of the Copa del Ray in humiliating fashion by third-tier side Alacorn? Well Man Utd successfully replicated that feat losing 0-1 at Old Trafford in the third round of the FA Cup, while their main title challengers, Chelsea, ran riot against Watford. Not only does this loss mark the first loss to a lower tier team under the tutelage of SAF, but it also came to hated rivals Leeds, an enmity which, despite the years and flights that separate the two sides, has not dissipated.

So will this embarrassment on their home ground spring United into action and compel players (particularly those in its fragile defense) to redouble their efforts a la Madrid, or does it portend the beginning of the end of United's season (either for lack of personnel or the loss of one in particular)?

At least, United's upcoming Carling Cup match against a resurgent Man City will help us get a better idea of their trajectory. It's all in how you respond, right?

UPDATE: Barca has joined the top of the table losers in league cup competitions, crashing out of the Copa del Ray. The Blaugrana lost 1-2 to Sevilla, though the referee's incompetence, as opposed to their own ineptitude, may have had more to do with the final result.

Top of the Table Show-downs

La Liga: Barcelona v. Real Madrid (a.k.a. El Clasico)

Finally, an El Clasico that began to live up to its hype. In the past few years especially it has devolved into a one-sided affair, despite the considerable hoopla in the run-up. And while both sides missed chances (looking at you Ronaldo and Messi) on the night, it was actually an entertianing match that came down to the cool calm of Zlatan Ibrahimovic and his 56th minute winner.

Did you know that Figo was once pelted with a pig's head after crossing the divide from Barca to Madrid? Here's some more info on El Clasico, if you just can't get enough fun facts about the rivalry.

EPL: Chelsea v. Arsenal

A competitive contest until the last three minutes of the first half. Wenger's wonder kids failed to capitalize on their early dominance, and it was left to the always dynamic Didier Drogba to take it early and finish it late, as he seized the initiative and the win from the young Gunners (with a little help from Thomas Vermaelen, of course). The win at the Emirates solidified Chelsea's hold of the top spot, while Arsenal relinquished third place to on-form Tottenham.

Champions League Round-Up

Ronnie returns.

• Higuain is scoring, Kaka is clicking and Ronaldo is returning. All is well for Madrid and just in time for El Clasico.
• As for their Clasico rivals, Barcelona seized initiative in their crucial match against Inter Milan, but advancement is still very much up in the air.
• Bordeaux took firm control of their group, leaving Juventus and Bayern to fight it out for second place.
• Chelsea and Arsenal pulled out wins against Porto and Standard Lige respectively, while Man Utd stumbled against Besiktas at home and Liverpool crashed out. But Rafa got a vote of confidence, well, um, until this...

• In the great tradition of Scouser/Manconian rivalry, Gary Neville then decided to rub salt into the Kop's open fleshy wound.

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems

Chelsea wants YOU.

Chelsea has never been a club to shy away from lavish outlays on world class talent, which is why their recent transfer ban has been so upsetting, not least of all to Abramovich himself.

It's also why news that the ban will not be enforced over the January transfer window, pending its appeal by the club, is so welcome...especially for one Sergio 'Kun' Aguero. Rejoice Blues fans, rejoice!

From the Mouths of Babes...

Sometimes footballers forget the lessons they learned in kindergarden. You know, like, don't hit people, share with others, etc. So, every now and then, it's nice to know that they remember how to mind their manners.

Such is the case with Femme Football fav Didier Drogba. The mercurial Blues man recently returned to Champions League action after serving a 3 match ban for his foul mouthed tirade during last year's tie against Barcelona. But he learned his lesson....all thanks to his 8 year old son.

It really is all about the kids.

Pompey Just Can't Catch A Break...

Poor Paul Hart.

On or off the pitch.

Word is that the FA have banned Portsmouth from registering new players a la Chelsea. When asked about the "embargo," Peter Storrie, Pompey's chief executive, insisted that the it was simply the result of a technicality and would be "sorted out" in a matter of days.

Now, there's a positive: Pompey won't have to wait till 2011 to sign new players like the Blues. But even that becomes a negative, when you realize that that's the only good news the club has received since the season's start.

While it's admirable that Storrie has found some silver lining (seriously, the man is more absurdly optimistic than the delusional few who still think LiLo is capable of getting her act together), it remains to be seen whether players will actually want to sign at Fratton Park. What with their 3 owners in 3 months AND not being able to pay the players' wages AND being bottom of the table and all. You know, those few, inconsequential details....

Signing Bonanza at the Bridge

A good look.

In an effort to forever endear himself to the Blues' faithful, Salomon Kalou has joined Didier Drogba, John Terry and Ashley Cole in agreeing to a long-term contract extension with the club.

Given that Chelsea have been banned from bringing in new players until January 2011, Kalou's decision to extend his stay at Stanford Bridge until at least 2012 will surely bring a welcome sigh of relief to Abramovich, Ancelotti, et al.

The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly: Premiere League Edition (9/27-9/28)

It lends an air of authority, if not success....

The Good: WTF Wigan won?? Yes, you read right, even Drogba's centennial strike couldn't save Chelsea's 100% record. The Blues certainly did not look like league leaders, and that, in large part, was due to the Latics outstanding display. Paul Scharner's finishing touch made sure of the Latics' first win against a top four side...ever...and it was a well deserved one at that. So Congrats!

Honorable mention to Fernando Torres: We may not like your frosted tips, but we can't hate on a superb showing against Hull and your ability to nearly single-handedly cover up the Reds' shoddy defense.

The Bad: Hapless Hull City - The above kudos to Torres is the yin to the yang of the hellish Hull experience at Anfield. Not even Phil Brown's spiffy headset could distract from the atrociousness of the scoreline.

(Dis) Honorable mention to Man Utd's Valencia: Seriously? How can you miss that ish? Seriously?

The Fugly: Pitiful Pompey - It's hard for us to find the words to adequately describe the hot tranny mess that is Portsmouth these days. Take the worst start in Premiere League history (after an unlucky loss versus Everton, they have racked up a grand total of zero points through seven rounds), then add to that significant financial uncertainties and front office rumblings, and you are left with a side that is still searching for its first points this season.