Just Sayin'

Kaka: Marca is now reporting that AC Milan sold Los Merengues a "broken" Kaka for a still astounding 68.5 million euros. Granted Madrid victimhood at the hands of jealous outsiders conspiring against them is not an unexpected theme in the Madrid-leaning daily, but I have always questioned the enormous fee paid for the Brazilian, even before the full extent of the indifference of first season at Los Blancos became known. Now while Marca may want to attribute that loss in form to an actual physical ailment, I am more inclined to think it derives from the horrendous play stylings of Serie A to which Kaka was exposed to for far too long....just sayin'.

Handball Ref: Word is that FIFA has decided to include the aptly named "Henry handball ref" in their roster of 30 referees for this summer's tournament in South Africa, because there is really no better way to say eff off to the Irish than to allow this official to continue to call games, after having already refused to step up and institute replay technology and/or extra endline officiating measures...just sayin'.

Chav-tastic Terry: In an interview with The Sun, the former England captain finally broke his silence about the controversy surrounding his recently-revealed affair with former biffle/Chelsea teammate Wayne Bridge's baby mama, Vanessa Perroncel. Terry apparently thought the time opportune to state that he and wife Toni's relationship has never "been knocked down" and that they are just "so in love." Now, normally the tawdry affairs borne from inflated footballer's egos are beyond the scope of this blog, but when the indiscretion begins to affect on pitch performances (see: Terry versus Everton) and off field preparations (see: England, World Cup 2010) then it actually becomes a footballing, as opposed to a private, matter, John. Moreover, no matter how you want to spin it, this mess isn't the media's doing, so taking responsibility in your public and sporting life, not just at home, is actually necessary...just sayin'.

The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly: Champions League Edition (9/15-9/16)

You might as well stay on your knees and pray for the return of your first touch while you're at it.

Good: The surprisingly decent 1-1 Stuttgart v. Rangers tie: An entertaining battle of two halves. First there was Pavel Pogrebniak's powerful 18th minute strike to put the home team ahead, in a half in which Stuttgat dictated the pace of the game to Rangers. But after their half-time regrouping, Madjid Bougherra did the visitor's renewed efforts justice with a brilliant strike in the 77th to take a point from the tie.

We applaud the Ibrox's redoubled discipline and purpose. Instead of relinquishing initiative after a less than stellar first half, Rangers turned this game into a competitive match, deservedly drawing level, and, indeed, unlucky not to take all 3 points from their away foray, given Steven Davis' near miss at the death.



Bad: Kaka's first touch and Real Madrid's failure to seal the deal: Before you regail us with how Madrid won 5-2, after going up 3-0 by the end of the first half, just take a moment and explain how favorites to win the competition can allow their opponents to crawl back 2 goals in the space of 2 minutes and mount an unexpected, if unsuccessful, challenge for the points.

The Gallacticos have only been playing together for a few weeks now, but it definitely not a good omen when F.C. Zurich can make your 226 million pound transfers look like cheap Chinatown knock-offs of their former selves (save Cristiano). A game like this is generally not a good omen when you actually have legit competition in the group stage. More importantly, since when has Kaka's first touch been so freakin' awful? Is this what Italian football does to you? Eto'o beware!



Fugly: The disjointed Barca v. Inter Milan tie. Now we understand rain can wreak as much havoc on a footie match as on our perfectly coifed hair, but we expect better from the La Liga champs (if not Serie A's). In the words of Barca boss, Pep Guardiola,"It's always hard to play Italian teams, nor is it easy to create chances against them." We tend to agree, Pep, especially when your opposition is as cynical as Jose's Nerazurri.

Player Encyclopedia: Future Phenom, Present Prodigy, Historic Hotshot

Image via National Geographic

Look at that concentration.

Future Phenom: We knew it from the moment we laid my bleary eyes on you -- bleary, because of the 2 am wake-up we endured to watch the proceedings of Japan/Korea 2002 live -- but oh how you made it worth it...those free kicks (you remember, the one against England?)...that goofy smile...you made it all look so easy...sure the people at PSG warned us about your late nights, but you had such joy and innocence that we were wont to believe it...and plus everything started out so well at Barca.

Present Prodigy: Some people may question your listing here, especially in this "what have you done for me lately industy," but you were FIFA World Player of the Year...twice (in 2004 and 2005)...and even when all of those dumb commentators were talking up ol' golden balls and his free kicks (seriously, the man's pretty, but he ain't got skillz like you), you were leading Brazil to their second Confederations Cup title in 2005, while helping Barca to back-to-back La Liga titles and the Champions League crown in 2006...but then you got lazy, unmotivated and, well, a bit more than pleasantly plump (granted not to the "fat f%$!" level of Ronaldo, but still)...and they turned on you at the Nou Camp and you became a shadow of your old self with a reputation tanking faster than Emmanuel Ungaro's since they've signed Lindsay Lohan as an "Artistic Advisor."

Historic Hotshot (?): TBD - New chapter, new place? Here's hoping to another club giving you another chance because things aren't working so well at Milan. Let's be honest you could do with another "new lease on life"; you've never linked up well with Pato and Leonardo isn't exactly you're biggest fan. I'm gonna take a wait and see approach with you, and pray that you don't waste your talents like some other wayward compatriots (Corinthians *cough* Ronaldo *cough*)...I mean it would only really take you actually showing up (physically and mentally, that is) to redeem yourself, but that's all part of your master plan, right? Because you obvi learned, when you went all Hollywood, that everybody loves a good comeback.